Are you trapped in a constant cycle of scrolling? Unable to resist the lure of your phone, even when you’ve vowed you’re not going to pick it up again? Sick of beating yourself up for how much time you spend on it?

You’re not alone. Phone addiction is a common complaint among my clients. It might not be the reason they come to me in the first place but it’s a classic symptom of a dysregulated, out-of-balance nervous system.

In this blog I’ll help you understand the biological reasons why you’re addicted to your phone, to let go of the guilt that comes with this, and find effective ways to reduce your screen time.

Why you are addicted to your phone

It’s the algorithms, right?

Well, yes and no. It’s the algorithms that feed us the content we want to keep coming back to, but it’s the neuroscience behind this that really explains why we find it so hard to put our phones down - and why we might find ourselves checking them more than ever during periods of stress.

You’ll know the feeling… you’re juggling a never-ending to-do list, your brain feels fried, and what you really need is to take time out to wind down and look after yourself, not be staring at a screen. Yet before you know it, you’ve spent the last two hours slumped on the sofa, frozen with phone in hand, unable to stop scrolling.

So what’s really going on here?

The answer is cortisol.

Cortisol is a natural stress hormone released by the body to keep us alert in times of danger, and a little bit of it is no bad thing. Along with adrenaline, it’s responsible for our natural fight or flight response, but if our bodies are continually exposed to stress it can rise to really unhelpful levels.

The problem is, it’s addictive – so when you’ve had lots of it coursing around your system, you’ll naturally crave the next spike. And that’s where our phones come in…

It sounds counter-intuitive, but what we’re actually doing when we’re on our phones is self-soothing by trying to get that next fix of cortisol or adrenaline. And once we’re in that cycle it’s very difficult to break out.

Ditching the guilt around phone addiction

So many people that come to me carry huge amounts of guilt about certain behaviours and patterns, and phone addiction is one of them. You may feel like you should be able to stop it or control it, that it’s robbing you from time with your family or loved ones, but I want to reassure you, it’s not your fault.

When your system is unbalanced, there’s a genuine physical reason for reaching for your phone:

If your nervous system is dysregulated, and your cortisol and adrenaline are pumped, your body becomes used to that heightened state. When you’re constantly scrolling, you’re subconsciously searching for that next hit which you’re now craving, and so the cycle continues because your body is so used to that pattern.

How do I break my mobile phone addiction?

Imagine if you could get to a place where you no longer relied on your phone, where you could put it away during your down-time and no longer really think about it? It is possible…

The key is balance.

By restoring a sense of balance to your nervous system, you’ll no longer crave the cortisol spikes and break the cycle of your phone addiction. You’ll also benefit in a whole host of other ways – better sleep, more focus, reduced anxiety and improved mood, to name just a few.

There are two key steps to doing this:

1) Identify why you are reaching for your phone so much

Identifying the triggers for your phone addiction can be really helpful.

When you pick up your phone, try to ask yourself why you’re doing it at that particular moment in time. Is it boredom, is it because you’re tired, frozen and disconnected from yourself, is it a distraction from something else you don’t want to feel? Or maybe you just want to drown out the sound of bickering children for a few minutes?  Maybe you’re checking emails again for the 100th time because you feel worried about a work situation or out of your depth in your role?

Try to consciously unpick the reasons for reaching for your phone. They may be different each time, but it’s likely you will start to notice a common pattern.

Journaling can be helpful in this situation. Carry a small notebook with you and reach for it instead of your phone. Just writing down a few lines about why you felt the need to go on your phone can be enough to stop or delay that craving. Over time, you’ll be able to observe recurring triggers.

2) Find alternatives to scrolling

As I said above, the key thing we’re striving for here is balance. How can you become more balanced in your mind and body, and what can you do that is going to make you less likely to reach for your phone?

Simple things like spending time outside, or surrounded by nature, can have a massive impact on soothing your nervous system and grounding your energy. Instead of picking up your phone on your lunch break, take a walk outside and make a conscious effort to listen to the birds.

Breathing exercises can be great too, if you are unable to get to an open space. Simply taking some time to close your eyes and concentrate on your breath will help to give your nervous system a few moments of calm, whereas picking up your phone will simply pile more onto it.

Start by placing your hand on your heart, close your eyes and focus on your breath. Ask yourself: ‘What am I noticing right now? What do I need right now?’ and just listen to your intuition.

Yoga is great for when you have slightly more time and space. Anything that gets you out of your mind and into your body is going to soothe your system and stop the mental chatter that phone use only adds to.

Another really good option, and one that you may be more likely to stick to is to find a creative outlet that you love.  Drawing, painting, completing a jigsaw puzzle… anything that takes your focus and gives your hands something to do will help to rebalance you. Something that gets you into a ‘flow’ state is even better – where your mind is so engrossed you’re doing the thing without thinking about it and time is flying.

Tackling mobile phone addiction is not easy but it is possible, and the benefits will flow into so many areas of your life. Reducing overwhelm and restoring balance to your mind and body will impact everything from your physical and mental health to your relationships with other people.

If you’re feeling dysregulated or out of balance right now and would like some advice on how to start tackling this you can book a free 30-minute connection call with me here.